101 Fancy being jealous of the milkman - he's in and out in five minutes!
102 Kids himself he's a great lover - starts off well, but can't keep it up.
103 I'm crazy about them - especially the way they stand rigid for hours!
104 They fall out every night after she's had a few drinks!
105 Careful, Mr McLarkin - I shouldn't like you to injure yourself - you nearly sat on the nut crackers!
106 It's not so much the coffee, but I like the way she wiggles when she grinds.
107 My new boyfriend has got a limp. A limp what?
108 I'll be alright later - It always shrinks like that after it's been in the water!
109 Fred's a dead loss on holiday - Just in and out, and he falls asleep!
110 You union men are all the same - sticking out until you get what you want!
111 He may look harmless - but I wouldn't trust anything with a horn like that!
112 Are you the dish that wouldn't warm up?
113 If I'd known you fancied a dip, I'd have slipped my trunks on!
114 The fuss my husband makes - anyone would think he was going to have it
115 If superficial means she's nothing underneath, I agree!
116 I only went once - three submissions in ten minutes was a bit too much!
117 I don't want someone who's going to suddenly leave and get married - I want someone who's here for a good time!
118 Could I trouble you? - This is the day for changing the bed linen!
119 Blimey Bert! No need to pull the ruddy chain afterwards and wake the whole house up!
120 Fred showed me all the holds - when he got as far as that I had to give in.
121 I didn't tell Mrs Jones that Uncle Bert and Aunty Flo were here - I just said that you and Dad were having relations!
122 After a good rub down, remove drawers
123 I know it's a bit soon after our wedding, but Bert says production times are being cut in every industry!
124 Just this red hat - no lingerie!
125 I think I'll leave it - one can say goodbye to ones balls in all these thistles!
126 When you've finished the sideboard, I'd like you to spend a little time on the bed!
127 Oh, there you are Elsie - I'd forgotten our hut number!
128 It's in six weeks, Edward - can we make a special effort?
129 Won't be long fixing your damaged sign, miss - My mate's just gone for a pee!
130 My old man wasn't too well before his holiday - but he's picked up a bit since he came down here!
131 I was engaged to him, but he got so cocky I broke it off!
132 Stop looking in the driving mirror - I'll tell you if there's anyone coming at the back!
133 She just lies there in the sun all day, but she's lively enough once it goes in!
134 I want a girl who's used to handling tools, and not afraid of getting a bit dirty!
135 Oh, there you are, Rodney!
136 They're baby ones, Sir - but I can show you a fully grown pair!
137 What can I enter you for? - I've heard you're a good performer on your back!
138 Lumme! - I must warn Bert!!
139 Then, finally he has his glass of malted milk!
140 I thought it was a miserable little thing!
141 Don't apologise, Mr Brown - It takes more that a little poke to offend me!
142 I don't mind you saying goodnight there - but stop pressing your bottom against the door-bell!
143 Yes...these luminous watches certainly do show up in the dark.
144 You always get the sort who want their full moneysworth!
145 Fresh enough -?
146 Fred I've suddenly got a craving for mustard, pickles and ice cream.
147 But leap-frog seems such a childish game to play, Mr Thomas!
148 Why have you never told me about these other amusements before -?
149 '..why the hell can't he buy a xylophone?'
150 Fred goes all blue and stiff when he's been in the water - not that I worry about the colour!
151 Threepence now - and threepence on the way home if you do your stuff!
152 We promised your wife we'd pop round and keep an eye on you while she's away!
153 No more for me or I'll be under the table, Mr Larkin!
154 Card from my boss - on holiday with his wife - says he'll be glad to get back to the daily grind!
155 Don't forget you've got my draws in your pocket!
156 Another flippin' collection for someone getting married - who is it this time Miss Smith?
157 I ain't sure what it means, but lets walk on a bit.
158 We've only walked half a mile you shouldn't be feeling stiff already!
159 I'm busy, Wilkins, - will you come and look up this lady's skirt!
160 Kindly let me pass, Mr Hampton -!
161 I promised mummy I'd be good - was I?
162 I wish you wouldn't be so untidy - your stockings always left in the bathroom, now your drawers stuck down the back of the sofa!
163 If that smart alec tries again..!
164 I didn't know your friend was still here - I thought I heard you say that Dickie had slipped out!
165 Always poking his nose in where it isn't wanted!
166 (Self raising flour)
167 It's sensational - but he can't keep it up for more than 5 minutes!
168 Have you noticed how her eyes open wide when it goes up!
169 Ooh! It really is in tight! Mind the carpet when you pull it out.
170 Sorry, Mister!
171 It was such a whopper, I couldn't get it in!
172 Do we know him? He raised his hat to us!
173 I didn't see him coming till it was too late!
174 '..and some of that smoked salmon with pickled walnuts!
175 Blimey! - ain't we got the telly back yet?
176 It hasn't been out long enough to get a sun tan!
177 The stiffness hasn't actually gone - but its shifted!
178 Bert always keeps a stiff upper lip - but I ask you what's the good of an upper lip!
179 (Sign: Nudist Club Canteen. Coffee, Savaloys, Ices)
180 The only thing that goes up is the cost of living.
181 Is this the house that needs a washer on the cock?
182 Do it myself...stuffed everything in this shop - as my secretary will confirm!
183 There's a stiff sentence for this!
184 I know you felt sorry for that man selling balloons - but why buy the lot?
185 I pronounce you man and wife ..and we won't stop for the little chat afterwards!
186 Come along quickly now... all out in five minutes!
187 Becoming a bit of a nuisance with the court ladies!
188 There's a horse running called sofa. I could fancy a bit on that!
189 See the idea Masie - We can both slim and cut the electricity by half!
190 Shut you eyes, relax and don't struggle when you feel a prick!
191 Well, nurse - take his balls off first!
192 I'm doing my best dear - I can't get it up any more!
193 It's so stiff, Winnie,- I can't get it up or down!
194 Well, Mavis - how about pushing on a bit further?
195 Legs a bit more apart, that's right, I've got it all in ...smashing!
196 That hole ought to be covered up!
197 Haven't you had enough.. without bringing another bottle to bed with you!
198 I had a weekend in Paris - and they were no better than ours!
199 If you're interested in weapons, come in here and see the gem of my collection!
200 I've removed my drawers - I'd like things to slide in and out a bit easier!
201 Coor, Bert! - That's how it looked on our honeymoon!
202 I've given him the kiss of life - but he's getting stiffer!
203 I've got it - but it's not quite long enough to tie round my waist!
204 I've got a friend in the drapery business.
205 Its rising again!
206 What did Eve say to Adam when they met in the garden? ..Gosh! That's a hard one!
207 And I always thought the nineteenth hole was the clubhouse bar!
208 If you look, you'll see a hole that needs filling.
209 The cock's alright - we just need an extension.
210 Stiff in the back? - Well its never in the front!
211 I can give you a quick grind - how about behind the shed?
212 Don't be awkward - straighten your back and get your legs apart!
213 He was studying a pin up in front of the circular saw - poor old cock!
214 Those plants need pollinating, miss - let's see how I can explain!
215 No wonder they call you Long John Silver!
216 I've done it standing against a tree - now I'll do it laying down in the hay.
217 It's super stuff for growing monster marrows - I've started putting some in Sam's sandwiches!
218 There supposed to make sure of a nice tight screw!
219 Your handling's fine but that's not the gear lever.
220 It's sapping your strength - You'll have to have it cut off.
221 Or could I show you something in between -?
222 What d'you mean - it dropped off when I coughed?
223 I've come out without my keys - can you give me a quick bunk up?
224 Could you touch up where my husband put his hand last night?
225 When I said you'd better wear something - I didn't mean that!
226 Take it out gently -.
227 Same again tonight? - I don't understand, Miss Pilkins!
228 That's the ninth time this morning-!
229 My goodness Mr Hornbeam - your up early!
230 I promised you'd go round the horn!
231 He had his middle stump out last night - but he wasn't out for a duck.
232 Heads or tails? - you sit on it or I stand on it-!
233 Have I come to the right place for a short screw?
234 She's very nice. Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke - and only swears when it slips out!
235 I've got rather a large horn - would that be alright with you?
236 I get out next stop - can you get out first?
237 Same time, same place again tomorrow.
238 Take your dog away! I don't want gritty crumpet!
239 What a lovely collection of records. Where's the nine inch one you told me about?
240 Yes, doctor, I'm giving him everything he wants - but he's too weak to even think about anything like that!
241 Like I said, Mac's got the longest but Andy's got the thickest!
242 Ram it well in - we don't want it falling out like it did last night!
243 A stiff front is rapidly approaching a soft front, resulting in high pressure in central zones...
244 There are those two big stiffs again Mavis - we don't want to bump into them.
245 You've got the biggest cock I've ever seen - do you have a job to get it in?
246 Doing his press ups again - I wouldn't mind being under him for a session!
247 No wonder I thought you were being extra enthusiastic!
248 He's the darts captain - if you want to join, he'll put you in the club!
249 He invited me out for an evenings entertainment ..It was a proper cock-up!
250 That's a highland longhorn - you'll se another one later.
251 So your cock's too stiff - now that's an unusual complaint.
252 If its your idea of a camping holiday, I'm not being poked in that little tent.
253 Can you call back later, Muriel? - an old friend has just popped in for a bit -!
254 I haven't any second hand horns - but if you come in the backroom I've got a good one that's been used a few times -!
255 You're getting a bit stiff, Mr O'Tool - would you like to stop for a bit?
256 I'll come as soon as I can - I'm in a bit of a hole at the moment.
257 It's my holiday - poking about in old ruins.
258 Where did you learn that double-tickle Bert?
259 But this is my third double gin - I thought you said you were getting hard up!
260 Ouch I know your nervous of the underground, Annie, but ye don't have to strap-hang when ye're sitting down!
261 Really Raymond can't you make anything stay up?
262 If that's a fig leaf, why is there a banana underneath?
263 Now what - You pop yours in my hole?
264 It feels as if its going down, Bert!
265 No Aunt Fanny - I said he's showing his prize bullocks at the county fair
266 Watch it mate, you're not that lucky!
267 Ha! there it is, sinking fast! - send the lifeboat out!
268 Keep your stern like that miss and I'll slip in easy!
269 I don't know what I married you for - all you do is sit and play with yourself.
270 I get no rest - Your cock wakes me up every morning!
271 You can't pay the bill - That's OK let me have a bit on account.
272 Gosh, Maisie! - that scarecrow's showing a lot of stick!
273 You're lucky to have such a good view -!
274 I can't see where the bee's stung you - but it's terribly swollen up!
275 A fiver if I don't snap you - !

Cards No 208 to 227 inclusive were issued with Constance backs.
All others were issued with the Sunny Pedro logo on the back.

Constance also issued cards by the same artist under the names of:-
BOB, FLIP and CARLOS

BOB

4738 Just hold me round the waist - no need for a block and tackle!
4739 I didn't hear you come in, Nobby!
4740 Mine's a bit sleepy, this morning - I've given her a couple of pokes but she won't wake up!
4741 He's always been the same - can't screw without grunting!

FLIP

4743 Are you still taking that iron tonic the doctor recommended?
4744 Blimey! What a monster!!
4745 Poor thing! no wonder he's cross-eyed with the horn up to his eyebrows
4746 It's gone soft, Bert - We've been using it too much!
4747 Stop wriggling! - It's not in yet!
4748 Down tools!
4749 There's two things I like - One's a double Scotch!
4750 Some Scots carry a weapon in their stocking...You'll feel mine down there!
4751 You need a really big tool, Miss!
4752 *
4753 (Not by Flip)
4754 I don't mind the occasional tit bit but he's got such really sharp teeth!
4756 It's too thick to go in the hole, Fred!
4755 Legs apart. Grip club firmly. See if you can manage a hole in one!
4757 Your a bit loaded Sir, I'll just tuck that liver sausage in your belt!

CARLOS

6001 I'm a bit worried about my eldest, he keeps hanging around that girl - At his age I had forty!
6002 I'm judging it - what are you doing afterwards... if you win?
6003 The bride's got something borrowed, and he's got something blue.
6004 Never mind your favourite dish - stick to the menu!
6005 I'm looking for a keen mean who can keep his mind on the job... Send in the next applicant, Miss Jones.
6006 No we won't take the short cut home - I promised mum I'd be good and early!
6007 Sis, if you've finished inflating yours, could you inflate mine?
6008 Is your husband a family man?
6009 They do a smashing breakfast, Miss Tomkins!
6010 I expect you'd like to look at my references!
6011 Are you the roast pork with a nice piece of crackling?
6012 In six weeks, I've had ten more wives and three expectant mothers.
6013 She deserves to have her bottom tanned!
6014 Excuse me miss - where are the amusements here?
6015 You two witnesses only had to witness the wedding!
6016 Dad, shall we sit upstairs where we can see more?
6017 Do you think we ought to? - I don't want to get into trouble!
6018 Do you like the long stems, Sir?
6019 I'm having a wonderful time and making a lot of friends.
6020 I was just admiring your attractive seat, Miss Larkins!
6021 She's bait.
6022 Dad's behind there trying to make friends with a bird.
6023 If your the decorator, mum's just stripped to save you time!
6024 It's my ninth - I didn't want any more, but I had one over the eight.
6025 George has been helping me turn out the attic - Gosh, I can't remember such a dirty week-end!
6026 I was just admiring your frame!
6027 You see what I mean about this car having a really efficient heater, Miss Fosdyke!
6028 *
6029 Sometimes I like a cocktail - it all depends who's shaking it!
6030 You just serve - leave that job to Miss Pilkins!

If you would like to discover more about comic postcards and the artists, or you would like to contribute to a comic postcard database, then please write to

Mr. J Hunnisett
9 High Street
Winfrith Newburgh
DORCHESTER
DT2 8JW
UK.

A Stamped Addressed Envelope would be appreciated.

Collect A. R. Quinton? You need the 'Quintessential Quinton' - a priced catalogue and checklist of the Art Cards by A. R. Quinton - price 15+
2.30 p&p, from:

Wayne Robbins
P O Box 719
RINGWOOD
Hants
BH24 1YQ
Tel: 01425 477619
E-mail: wayne@postcard.co.uk
Web site: www.collections.co.uk